Searching for Buddha in Tadjikistan
“Buddhists say “every person can become a Buddha”. And when they say so, they don’t mean a historical or a religious figure. They mean anyone can be enlightened. This idea is both empowering and dangerous. Because we can not help trying and so often we fail. Every person has their own version of enlightenment, it is so very personal”, these are the thoughts that were going through my mind as I set on the main square of Dushanbe looking out at snow covered hats of Pamir mountains.
One of my biggest personal battles is resistance. Resistance is my natural reaction. I resist both bad things and good things, things that come as tasks and things that come as blessings, when being spiritual almost always means being able to surrender, to have faith.
My brain trained in highly systematic institutions demands for guarantees and and arguments, the pros and cons, it weighs things up and down and still resists them. I resist friendship, fortunes, love, the absence of love, and misfortunes.
Fighting my resistance back, trying to have faith in something that might or not work out, brought me to Dushanbe. It was late fall , the quiet days descended on the city in shades of orange, yellow and light brown, houses painted in bright colours smiled tenderly in autumn sunshine.
The city and I embraced each others struggles. Me hesitant and helpless in my inability to surrender, Dushanbe sad and quiet farewell to warm seasons. The sadness of departure was in the smell of dry leaves and in the eyes of Persian princesses passing by.
I kept wondering searching and searching for how to become a Buddha and finally I found it A giant figure of Buddha laying asleep in Archeological Museum. As he slept , he smiled and breathed calmly. He knew that every thing has its own time. Just like autumn and spring. I knew it will work out resist I or not. So I smiled too.